Bedtime Story #6

Once upon a time there lived a handsome Yeti (who also went by the moniker 'the Abominable Snowman'). He developed a close relationship with a beautiful lady Yeti ('the Abominable Snowlady'), and they spent much time together terrorizing the humans living in the nearby snow village.

I am sad to say that these Yetis were not very responsible when it came to contraception and practicing safe sexual intercourse. One day the female Yeti discovered that she was expecting, but did not want to keep the baby as she had no maternal inclinations whatsoever, and felt that she was not ready for such a responsibility.

When the baby Yeti was born, the Yeti couple left it at the foot of a snow-covered mountain, so that a pack of wolves might come and raise it (like Romulus and Remus, or Princess Mononoke or something).

At around this same point in time, a group of young women went for a skiing holiday. One of the women found the abandoned baby Yeti and immediately felt such a bond with it that she could not bear to leave it out in the harsh elements. She legally adopted the baby, and raised it as her own.

As the baby Yeti grew, she took him on many nature outings such as bug-catching expeditions. However, the Yeti developed a strong passion for fishing, so the young woman took him fishing every weekend. The Yeti became so adept at fishing (in freshwater, saltwater, rivers, the deep sea, you name it...) that the woman decided to open up a fish market so that they could sell the fish they had caught.

The fish market became an instant success for it was located within a geographic niche free from competing businesses, met the needs of consumers effectively through the utilization of the leading consumer behaviour and market research theories, and raised a high profile through social media marketing and public relations.

The young woman and the Yeti fished for the rest of their lives, and made a decent living from the profits of their enterprise.

Bedtime Story #5

Once upon a time there lived a large pink rabbit. He was called George Michael, though was in no way affiliated with the Wham! singer or the Arrested Development character.

He was the single father of six baby rabbits, as his wife had been involved in a rather unfortunate incident shortly after the birth of their litter. She had been stealing radishes from a farm, when the farmer had caught her and cooked her in a delicious pie with fluffy pastry and creamy red wine sauce.

George Michael didn't have many employable skills at all, and found it very difficult to single-handedly support his large family. He spent quite some time working in a menial and unfulfilling day job before applying for a casual job at a luxury hotel as a parking valet.

This hotel attracted the very richest patrons, all of whom drove expensive cars loaded with the latest technology and gadgets. He discovered that it was very easy to steal the gadgets (e.g. CDs, stereo systems, iPods, TomToms, those in-car DVD player things, expensive cashmere steering wheel covers, leather seat covers, floor mats... anything!) and then sell them on eBay.

Whenever the distressed holidaymakers discovered their possessions had been stolen they lodged complaints against the valet with the hotel, however there was never any evidence to substantiate their claims (besides evidence of the circumstantial variety). Because he was never caught out, he didn't have a criminal record.

In this way, George Michael the pink rabbit was able to make a lot of money with which to support his six little pink rabbit babies. He sent all six rabbits to college. One of the rabbits grew up to be a successful criminal lawyer, another one became a pediatrician, another became a marketing executive, another became an orthodontist, one became a small business owner, and another became a full-time stay-at-home father to eight baby rabbits.

Now that all his offspring had embarked on successful careers and life partnerships, George Michael decided to retire. He signed himself up for a rabbit retirement village, unaware that the village was actually the soft toy section of a department store.

One day, a dashing young man walked into the store and bought George Michael as an Easter present for his special lady friend. George Michael started a new life living with the young lady, and continued his thieving ways, as he had developed something akin to kleptomania. He lived happily ever after and maintains a 100% rating on eBay. The end.